Pages

Thursday, 2 April 2015

A letter to Beyonce


Hi Beyonce...no too casual. Sup Beyonce...no too colloquial. Dear Beyonce... too formal. What's gwanin BB? That's perfect.

What's gwanin BB?
 It's me Stella. I'm 13 ( how many is that in hamster years?) and a huge fan of yours. I'm writing this letter to talk about a really serious issue that I need your help with. How do I phrase this? WILL YOU ADOPT ME BEYONCE?

My parents are totally fine with it ( of course they don't know yet but they'll be fine), my imaginary friend Bertumboe ( pronounced Ber-tum-bow) is completely ok with it as well. Oh and my real friends seem to be ok with it too, but no one cares about their opinion.

Just think about it BB. Can I call you BB or do you prefer another name? Like Queen or Boss or Awerfgjrfd? You know just in case your into names that no body can pronounce. I have so much to offer, I'm qualified for your adoption I swear.

I can dance (not well and I don't even think it's qualified as dancing). But I can flail my arms and legs to a beat.

I can sing, no...no I can't. But I listen to music.

I'm great at maths, I think. I could be your accountant, supposing I'll be paid a fair amount that is.

I can pass off as a toddler, or a smurf. which ever one. I'm really short but I don't know how that would benefit you.

I can write hit songs, my last one being aghhhhhhh, the lyrics consisting of the word aghhhhhhhhhh. All the cat's loved it, the beat went straight through their noise cancelling headphones.

So Beyonce, what do you say?

Yours sincerely your future daughter.

P.S. If this doesn't work out, can you somehow get me in contact with Obama or Winnie the Pooh?


 If you've successfully made it to the end of the letter, hi and I swear I'm not insane. I hope you found this somewhat amusing. Thank you for reading human, peace out or whateva.

18 comments:

  1. This is AMAZING! If she doesn't adopt you I am BOYCOTTING! ARE YOU WITH ME!
    Mae :)
    superswankified.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Mae,and I'm totally with you on this one. We'll start a protest and everything,with banners and leaflets and videos. The whole shebang.

      Delete
    2. Email me if she refuses. Ill get the sign!

      Delete
  2. Hahaha! This is great. Good luck with your adoption goals :D
    - July, http://julyaemmance.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks July, I just hope she says yes.

      Delete
  3. Pfffftt..Hahahahaha xD
    What about your unicorns?Will you take them with you when she adopts you?? xD
    Ohh don't get adopted by Pooh he's stupid he'll probably trade you for a jar of honey :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take each and every unicorn. Not a lot of people now this but unicorns can turn themselves invisible, so I'll just sneak them in when I get adopted. You know what Pooh probably would trade me for a jar of honey but we can't deny he's the cutest and kindest bear ever.

      Delete
  4. If you get adopted can you adopt me? xD

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hahahaha :') I wanna be adopted by Queen Bey too. We could be sisters! haha what if she actually somehow randomly finds this page on the internet... Aha and I know the feeling of, "How do I start my letter!?" Ugh when emailing teachers.

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

    ReplyDelete
  6. If I was Beyoncé I would totally adopt you, girl!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Aww such a sweet and funny little letter :)

    Neeny x

    neenyslittleblog.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  8. You have an amazing blog!
    Would you like to follow each other on the GFC?
    Let me know and I will follow you. Have a nice day!
    http://mosaictrends.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm just going to sit here and wait for Beyonce to see this letter and adopt you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh, and I also nominated you for a tag: http://amazingcaseofwanderlust.blogspot.ca/2015/04/may-i-present-to-you-cheer-all-year-2015.html

    ReplyDelete
  11. Haha! You have to send this letter to Queen B! How could she refuse?! xx

    Golden Ducklings

    ReplyDelete
  12. My nickname at school is Breyonce

    ReplyDelete