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Friday, 10 April 2015

Diagnosis Awkward :The Gym Incident

Here stands a rare specimen, the Stelaosaurus.
Gymnastics.
Nothing good ever happens in gymnastics.

It was the Monday of a depressing January month. Every Monday meant a P.E lesson and today's serving consisted of 60 endless minutes of gymnastics. With a clip board in hand, our teacher led us to our death I mean sport's hall. Like toddlers we sat, faces focused on the teacher and the rather attractive masculine assistant stood next to her.  It was the day of vaulting. You know, that thing where you have to jump over these tall structures like your some sort of half human half horse. 

Three lanes stood before my eyes. The first one, a tricky leap clearly needed to clear the vault. The second, a simple jump. Then the third, you know what let's not even go there. 

I attempt the second lane, charging aggressive at the vault, leaping high of the ground and landing successfully upon the structure. I stare at the third lane and then look right back. Oh hell no. And then I look to the first lane and decide to jump the vault.

I clear it successfully the first time. And again the second but then it all just went down hill. Soon, walked over the clip board bearing teacher with the instructions that we must now clear the vault with a straddle jump. Uhh No. 
pixgood.com
So I attempt my great escape, speed walking my way out of the third lane, awkwardly positioning myself halfway between the first lane and second lane.  Somehow, in some twisted turn of events I ended up in the third lane once again. Now with the encouraging words of my dear friends ( love ya'll) I was persuaded to jump the vault. 

I charged, screaming like a true warrior and jumped, spreading my arms and legs mid leap. I unfortunately was not successful and landed with a thud upon the vault. I was in fact meant to jump over the vault without any contact other than my hands. There I sat, my legs entangled in the metal structure as I attempted to shuffle my way down. A tiny note- fabric against fabric causes friction, and friction isn't the best when you're trying to make a fast getaway.  I was mortified.  But I'm fine now, it's not like I'm forever traumatized or anything. * She shivers*

That dear reader, was the story of the Gym Incident.

And if you want to check out more of my random pieces of writing, I strongly urge you to pop over my twitter. This by no means was an attempt at self promotion pffft.


14 comments:

  1. Sorry this was a little funny, hope you're ok though?

    Meme xx

    New Post:
    'Bad Hair Day? No Way*'
    http://thedayinthelifeofmexoxo.blogspot.co.uk/

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    Replies
    1. It was rather funny and it made the lesson a whole lot interesting. I am ok. Once in a while I cringe but I'm fine.

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  2. I'm pretty sure evil put that gymnasium class in your schedule he's plotting against you and your unicorns :P
    Hope you're fine though,fabric against fabric can be really painful burn. o.O

    Neal Kind
    Daily Diaries

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had my speculations, but they all thought I was insane. pftt muggles. And I'm good, well physically but I'm not sure about mentally. Every so often the memory arises and I shiver a little.

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  3. Ahh the oh so lovely gymnastics :') Hahaha I'm pretty sure no normal individual is able to straddle jump over a vault...

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

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    Replies
    1. Gymnastics is just the best isn't it? I'm still sticking with the theory that the 5% of my class that could clear the vault, where in fact half human half horse. It's the only way.

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  4. Replies
    1. I'm with you on that. Gyms, sports halls,sports centers. They're just buildings pending your embarrassment.

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  5. That was funny:D
    ~Emily
    Since we're all leaving links:
    afallingstar123.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Emily. Lol, I'm totally fine with links, I love checking out blogs.

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  6. This was hilarious. It happens to the best of us.
    Hope you're okay though :)

    -nymisha

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    Replies
    1. I'm fine...I will be...I hope. Thank you Nymisha.

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  7. hello, if you just put the translator to my blog, so you can read it. it's on the right.

    Your post is very funny, I liked incidents in the gym

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've found the translator button. And thank you. I'm also fond of Gym fails, saying that most of them happen to me.

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