Friday, 24 April 2015

The H.U.G



  Hold
  Up
Gurl/Guy

Otherwise known as the rules of human contact.(As told by Star Girl.)

For me, a  person who lack total confidence in the idea of ever having a non awkward encounter, it feels necessary to establish some ground rules. And that's when The H.U.G comes in. 5 totally basic things you must not do when you meet someone. The H.U.G can also refer to a person who does not abide by these rules,thus becoming the embodiment of the acronym themselves.

The rules of The H.U.G are as follows. I've even added color to the rules to make them pretty.

-No close contact
Establish a comfortable distance. 20-40 cm is ok. 15 is pushing it. 5 and you're actually insane, unless that person is a wax figure and is unable to feel discomfort.

-No awkward stares
This includes, but is not limited to:
  •  Prolonged stares
  • Creepy stares
  • Death glares
  • A really sinister mix of all three, leaving the victim both traumatized and seriously confused.
-No unnecessary hugging
Hugging should not be distributed to Squirrels, Mongooses, Giraffes, Spiders or Tigers. This also applies to cacti, lettuce, weaves, braids, CD players, fish, potato chips, or hand lotion. Chocolate on the other hand, can be hugged.
Unless deemed necessary by said Hugee (that's a scientific term we awkward individuals use to describe a person receiving a hug) or clarified with both beings that the hug should in fact be carried out, the hug is not needed.

-No physical contact
Don't touch me! If put your hands on my shoulder, it's not guaranteed you'll walk away with both of them. Stuff can go from zero to a hundred real quick. 

-No touching of my personal belongings without my permission
This isn't human contact but I felt like I should mention it. Don't Touch My Stuff! I don't go around manhandling your unicorn mane so leave mine alone.

It's rudimentary really.

Other variations of the H.U.G consist of :
The
          Highly          
Unnecessary
 Gesture

And my favorite-
The
Hip
Union
(of)
Gangstas

But if the rules just weren't simple enough...well my friend,there really is no hope for you. There's only so much I can do. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this and I'd love it if you wanted to comment below telling me what you think. Now go forth human, spread the word.

Star Girl out.


4 comments:

  1. really cool
    new post :http://melodyjacob1.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahh I hate it when people stand too close or put their hand on your shoulder. I mean seriously? Do you not see my personal bubble?

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

    ReplyDelete