Wednesday, 27 May 2015

The Twitter Bird Complex

In which we reflect on my past few weeks of tweeting.

I've had a twitter account for a couple months now and within this time I've compiled quite a lot of tweets. 115 to be exact. Here are just a couple.( Apparently my laptop doesn't understand the principal of print screen, so I had to copy and paste the tweets.)

A random shopping list in my memos read
Apples Bread Bansnadaf What the heck is a Bansnadaf and where do I purchase this exotic item?

Do you think that if I keep staring at me English work it will complete itself? It's been an hour.

Note to self: Get your money out before walking up to the cashier. Those awkward 30 seconds spent ransacking your own bag are hella awkward.

I'm contemplating devoting a whole separate Instagram account to just creeping on really hot guys. Yeah, that didn't sound creepy at all.

Let's start the fight against dryness today. Ashy people UNITE!!! We will no longer be left lotionless and dry.

I should not be held accountable for anything i say under the influence of sugar. That stuff gets me hyped up.

Think of me as an awkward flower. Small, slightly messed up, hates socializing with bees.

Just a quick R.I.P to my end of year results. The obituary has been planned in advance.

Don't you dare die on me WIFI. Don't you dare buddy, we've been through too much.

Google said I could buy Max Schneider on Amazon. Google is such a liar.

# Eurovision is on people. Drop everything.

She was a sparkle in the mist. A guiding light to unknown wonders that'd otherwise be missed. Because random poetry rules.

If twitter continues telling me there's an internal server error, I might break down. You had one job, one job my friend. Send the tweet.

Check me out on twitter by clicking the twitter button on the side, you know that pink circle with the word twitter written in it.
Check out my recent posts whilst you're at it. You can find links to them in the sidebar.
Thank you for reading.
I'm out.


  1. ha, I know right? These are the best.

  2. You are so funny! Thanks for this joyful little pick me up!

  3. #9 XD I love that one.

    Oh, and 3. . . I always try to have my money or card out before hand. Because that 30 seconds makes the person behind me feel like I'm taking so long and why in the world did they get behind me! Because 30 seconds is just sooo long. . . People and impatience, it's ridiculous. But I prepare my method of payment in advance to appease society anyhow. -_-

  4. Great post and really funny tweets xx :)