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Thursday, 6 August 2015

Fool Proof Pick Up Lines



You've heard of the generic pick up lines. The old school, sub optimal, tedious works of art that leave us constantly cringing. You might have even used a few in your lifetime, but now is the time we revolutionize the world of cheesy overused gobbledygook. Now is the time we create a new era of flirting. Here are 22 full proof pick up lines for your disposal. The revolution begins now.

1) Are you a simultaneous equation? Because I can't seem to figure you out.

2) a^2 plus b^2 =c^2 so maybe I'll see you later... squared.
Hey!! I never said they had to make sense okay!!??.

3)Your eyes are like the dark depths of a frightening abyss; they stare deep into my soul.

4) Are you a Siamese cat? Because your purrfect- it helps if you cough up a fur ball and pull out a tin of tuna. It really adds a certain finesse to your deliverance of the line.

5) You look edible - then proceed to gnaw at their arms.

6) Are you a rope? Because I'd like to entangle myself in your arms.

7)Love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Or alternatively-
8) I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

9)You see this right here, it's girlfriend material with a hint of silk and cotton and the tiniest bit of polyester.
 Noting the fabrics used in your clothing is pointless, however it does give you enough time to abort if that person happens to be carrying a toy gun and starts murmuring "pew, pew, pew!!!" repeatedly under his breathe.

10) Are you a shoe? Because boy do you look worn out.

11) If I was insane, I'd make a shrine of your face and hide it in my wardrobe.

12) I wish you were a teddy, so I could aggressively hug you and shove you into my bag to take with me everywhere.

13)You're just like noodles. I love noodles.

14) Has anyone told you that you look like an owl?

15) Quick water!! You're smoking hot.

16) Do you like turtles?

17) I like food.

18) Magnesium plus oxygen might equal magnesium oxide, but you plus me equals chemistry.

19) Is you're name sugar? Because my mum said sugar's bad for your teeth.

20) Can I smell you real quick?

21) I'm like the sun in the heliocentric model; the center of your world. I mean, unless you're into all that geocentric stuff, in which case I'm the Earth.

But if none of these seem to be working, then and only then should you resort to this last one:

22) Hi, how are you?

Disclaimer- Do not use these pick up lines under any circumstances in a serious attempt at flirting ( unless it's the last one). They were created by a single thirteen year old who has never tried to intentionally pick anything up in her life, not even the pencils that she constantly drops every lesson.

15 comments:

  1. Wow did that make me laugh!!!

    - www.whatlexieloves.blogspot.com

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  2. lol. 16 and 17 crack me up. Thanks for sharing :)

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    Replies
    1. I think 17 is my favorite, and thank you for commenting Kate.

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  3. Very very funny! I love 15 and 18!
    -Jollygirl
    http://reflectionsofajollygirl.blogspot.com

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  4. Hahaha the last one generally works, but then so does number 18 coz that one's great :') Here's just a few more for you, because finding pick up lines and using them is a bit of a hobby.

    Are you an orphanage, coz I wanna have your kids.
    Open up your Gryffindor and I'll Slytherin
    Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I see myself in your pants
    Do you play quidditch, coz I wanna ride your broomstick
    Do you have a bandaid, coz I scraped my knee falling for you
    Take me to your chamber of secrets
    Are you Katniss Everdeen, because I'd volunteer for your district

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

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    Replies
    1. Oh ma gawsh M these are ridiculously good. How did you get these? The Hunger Games one had me in tears.

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  5. Oh, my gosh. I LOVE THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Can I please draw a comic on this, then post it on my blog? I'll link back to you as the original creator.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. Of course you can,I think that would look so cool. Leave me a link to your blog so I can check it out.

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    2. I will :D
      (Although, it may take awhile, because I have to first draw the comic, and this deserves hand-drawn art (which, in my case, is better than computer art))

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    3. I did it :D!!!
      I have not clue how to actually make links in comments, but if you copy and paste this into your search thingy the post should pop up; http://bekahthebookworm.blogspot.de/2015/08/comics.html

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