Sunday, 25 October 2015

I Hope My Headteacher Reads This (Or Not. Probably Not.)

I was originally going to title this High School Savagery but that sounded too cannibalistic so...

 If I'm being honest here, I'm probably going to fail sociology.
My chances of passing are like that of a blind dog with rheumatism successfully walking a 500m tight rope across a busy speedway.




It becomes apparent to a person, somewhere between their 3rd and 7th sociology class, that they are destined to fail. In fact it becomes so ridiculously apparent that the simple act of thinking about it drives them to the brink of insanity. Like the metaphorical speeding car hurtling rapidly towards you, the prospect of failure is just one of those things that can't be deflected. It's the figurative elephant in the room. Except this time the elephants dressed in a green tutu and a purple windbreaker, alternating between intense ASAP Rocky raps and terrible pop song renditions. It's simply unavoidable. And that's the terrifying thing.

At first everything seems fine. You sit there somewhat confident of yourself and blissfully unaware of the train wreck that's about to take place 5 classes in. Your teacher's incredibly nice (and way more than she should be) and it's almost faultless. Then all of a sudden everything changes. It's slow at first ( kind of how a fire starts) and then it bursts into flames. You see, the moment you begin to understand that maybe your class isn't as into this subject as you are, is the exact instant that you know your never going to reach your full potential. And yes you could ask for extra work and put in endless hours of revision outside of class but it's rather counter intuitive if you go into it not knowing what your actually doing. You leave way more confused then you did entering and I'm certain that is not the purpose of revision. 

It's pretty much safe to say that I have no idea of what I'm doing in that class. People in that class may dispute that but then again it's easy to fake intelligence when you've got a book in front of you.
It's not even the teachers fault. It would be easy if it was. I could blame it on their inability to engage students or their lack of knowledge. I could say that they aren't teaching us the right things or their not giving us anything to work with. But the truth is that I can't say any of those things. The real fault is the students

It's really not until you enter Secondary school that you understand the lack of respect that a child can show someone. High schoolers are complete savages and it's really unnerving. It frightens me that high school can make you feel just so...scared. But you know what's scarier? You know what really gets me down? It's seeing someone intentionally go out of their way to shove you into the side of the corridor and laugh about it like what they've done is something commendable or humorous. It's seeing someone call a teacher a bitch and not care about it. It's seeing the amount of work a teacher put into a lesson just to have it ruined and knowing that they have to try even though sometimes you think that they're better off giving up. It's seeing a teacher almost lose their voice trying to control a class. Its seeing a child not that much older than you intentionally pick up a chair and forcefully hurl it at someone with the aim of hitting them and then smile afterwards. Because somehow it's become completely acceptable to do that now a days, right? It's fine to hit someone with a chair because they're not like you. Isn't that the mentality? They don't look like you, act like you, have the same status as you. They've got something wrong with them so that validates you throwing a chair at them. It completely validates you wanting to hurt them for no other reason than they're nothing like you and the group of bullies you call your friends.  

What scares me the most is feeling like the next few years of my life are going to be filled with nothing but this and that there's no way to stop it because I'm simply just a 13 year old girl among a crowd of teens.

And that's the worst feeling there is.

But umm, on the bright side, at least the school dinners are decent right?

I don't know if you can relate to this or not but comment down below your opinions on High school and maybe we can indulge on the matter together. Like a tea party but more rant filled and with a lot less tea and biscuits.

And although it may not seem like it, I am genuinely scared that I'm going to fail my GCSE's. I'm not even in year 11 yet! Please send help!!!!! 

2 comments:

  1. I've been homeschooled all my life so I can't exactly say I understand what you're feeling. But at the same time, I do have friends that go to public schools and I've heard tons of stories like this. Really, it is unfair. I'll be praying for you. Hope it gets better:)
    ~Sarah
    foreverchanged13.blogspot.com

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  2. Wow. The students at your school really do sound quite savage. I'd have to say some of the girls at my school are ugly too, but then isn't everyone? They're also beautiful in every way so I can't really complain. It really is unfair when you see how disrespectful some people can be though.

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

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