Sunday, 27 December 2015

Blogger Confessions

It has been nine days since I last posted and I feel like it's necessary that I fill you in on a couple of things.
1. I turned 14.
2.I broke my kindle (but if my dad asks, it's just a temporary glitch). I mean it was about time, I've had that thing for 3 or 4 years now and if I didn't break the old fellow, the poor thing would have combusted itself.
3.I started learning French. Thank god for free learning apps.
4- Amazon charged me £6.49 ($9.60) for an audible version of the book I bought on Christmas day. There really is no better feeling than that of the one when you realise you didn't untick the audible options box. Which by the way is a shitty thing to do Amazon. You don't pre-tick the options box for someone without fully explaining it to them, then not give them a refund because they're not 'obligated to receive the return guarantee'. But we should probably get onto the post now.

Blogger Confessions
The not so useless revelations of a basic blogger.

I feel like it would have been useful to have some sort of guideline when I started blogging. That's not to say that I found none, because I found quite a few. But in the nicest way possible, they were useless articles of rat tripe. They weren't for teens. They were for 40 year old balding men trying to build a following for their broken down plumbing businesses and monetise their writing. Which is great and all if you're a middle aged man named Dave who lives in his parent's basement. But not so great if you're a 14 year old child. So if you were ever thinking of starting a blog or in need of some rather basic blogging tips, now commences 13 blogger confessions. From one blogger to another, sharing pretty much everything you'll need to know when starting/running a blog as a teen.

1. It's okay not to follow for a follow.
The most likely scenario, if you do, is that you'll never actually read their blog and you'll be left with an archive of posts that you couldn't care less about. Plus you might feel guilty afterwards when you decide to stop following them.

2' It's okay to make mistakes in a post and then hurriedly rush to edit it, then realise there's more mistakes and then go back again in a continuous cycle.
It's not the most conventional method or by any means efficient, but it works. However, the rational side of me would seriously debate that and say that you should always check your posts  for errors before publishing them.

3. It's perfectly fine to be weird. Many people might not get your humor but the Danish woman reading your posts on her iPod probably does. And she loves it.

4. It's always best to keep a notebook on hand or the memo app open on your phone.
You never know when an idea will strike and rather than trying to memorise it, just write it down.

5. Don't touch the cacti. This one doesn't have a reasonable explanation. Just don't touch the cacti. It'll probably eat you or something outrageous like that.

6. Ranting is great. It's like the Queen Elizabeth of written anger. The Micheal Jackson of hate. If you imagined it on a numerical scale it'd be a 9.6. Right above complaint letters but 0.4 away from those really intense diary extracts about that girl in health class who really grinds your gears.

7. You don't need a niche.
Sure it'd be great if you really wanted one but it's not necessary.

8. You don't need a cat.
Again, no sound explanation. But if you're wanting some kind of reasoning...cats are evil? Yeah. I'll go with that.

9. It's fine to link your blog in the comments section.
You can also plug your social media accounts in your posts too. Commenting on a blog is the easiest way to get people to acknowledge yours, but you probably shouldn't be asking for follows. Generally you'd assume that a person would follow your blog if they genuinely liked it. Asking for follows is putting that person in an uncomfortable position if they don't actually like your blog. Especially if they're a 14 year old girl with no interest in your blog topic whatsoever.

10. You might not want to change your blog name more than once.
Unlike me who as changed her blog name 4 times in the past year. Do you know what that means? Do you? Neither do I but I'm guessing it's not good.

11.If you think that you're going to build a ginormous following in the first week of blogging, you're not crazy. You are however undeniably wrong. It's easy to make the mistake of thinking your blog's going to be insanely big in the initial stages. I did. But I've learn't that the most important thing is the people you connect with rather than the amount of page views or followers.

12. Stop thinking about it so much.
Just do it. It's frickin awesome.

13. I think the biggest thing however is the most obvious. Have fun with it. Don't let it become a part of the daily grind.  And I don't mean that as in the rotary movement of the hips often executed by dancers in a sensual manner. The grind as in work, dollar, broccoli, domestic roles. You know what I mean. Have tons of fun with it. It's yours. There are no bounds. Apart from the ethical ones of course. But still, no bounds.


    thank you.
    I need more people to be weird with. Cause most of he bloggers our age either take themselves very seriously about writing or have AG dolls. The Danish woman with her iPod needs to join the weird group.
    Happy 14! *dances in a circle around you, chanting ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US*
    I do that editing style too.

    1. Someone had to say it, I'm just glad everyone finally knows now. I totally agree with you on the weird people thing,I think we need to start an organisation. And thank you for the chant, I shall hope to do the same one day for you. But perhaps it'll go something like "Overlord, Overlord, Goat Ruler, Goat chief"
      But about that editing style, is it not amazing? Am I right? Am I right?

  2. Yay for being 14.

    Also, just wanted to say I am hosting a giveaway and if you want you can enter it for $15! All you have to do is submit a guest post!


    1. Thank you, and I can't wait to check it out.

  3. WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF 14! (i've been that way for nearly two months and i almost told someone i was 13, ha ha...)

    ugh, i have a kindle too and i've had it for, holy crap, 4 years. mine breaks all the time too.

    well i'll just link my blog and move on then


    never, ever touch a cactus.

    i don't like cats. period. (a little boy at the park today asked me what my kitty cat's name is. i had to explain that i didn't have a cat xD)

    1. Lol I still feel 13 to be honest.Or more realistically like a 6 and a half year old Parisian child. I'm not quite sure why they're Parisian, I started off with an idea and went with it. I also pray for your kindle. May it live long and prosper. And too right, you must never touch a cactus. But as for that boy in the park, I think he may have an obsession with felines. Or he was way too hyped up on lollipops and thought that it was appropriate to approach a complete stranger and ask them about cats.

  4. Awesome post! x

    Cait //

  5. So one of my friends started blogging yesterday and I'm totally sending her a link to this post. It's pure blogging gold :P
    I'm glad I don't have a Kindle, I'd probably break it right away (technology usually dies when I come close). Oh, and happy 14th birthday! I feel so old now. I'm just gonna pretend I'm not legally an adult and keep up the childlike craziness :)

    x Envy
    Lost in Translation

    1. I feel your pain. I've always been terrible with technology. I dropped my last phone at least 30 times and lost it more times than I have fingers. My laptop's also covered in crumbs and the fact that I've almost dropped it three times and only caught it at the last minute is enough to send any Apple worker into fits.It happens to the best of us. Also thank you for the birthday wish and don't worry, you're not that old. Technically I'm still a 54 year old Latino Uncle, so it's okay.
      Send me the link to your friend's blog as well. I want to check it out.

  6. I love this post so much!
    But, alas, I am guilty of the whole "follow-for-follow" thing... don't kill me.

    My blog (rather, a post from my blog that has to do with this blog, because why not);

  7. Happy Late Birthday! Brilliant post :)