Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Unsolicited And Probably Rather Obvious

West of the wilting hills,
The city sleeps,
And dreams
Of where the wild things are.

Rule number one of staying alive:
Never mess with a stray dog.

Stray dogs are like your 4 year old cousin after Halloween night. A slight exaggeration on my part, I'll admit, but they're both likely to wound you if you get too close. Your cousin most likely over you touching their hard earned candy (If they give you anything more than a bruised eye though, they probably run a candy cartel at break.) and the dog over its territory. Here's the thing about stray dogs though: they're probably not too fussed about whether you want your legs or not. Heck, they couldn't care less about your arms either if they know they can jump that high or get you down long enough to get at them. The chances are that they're extremely rabid, haven't eaten in a week and are completely willing to maul you to death if you so much as step a millimeter into their territory. You probably shouldn't run either. Running is the equivalent of waving a red flag at a bull or throwing rocks at a bee. And don't doubt that that dog will chase you. It will. Most importantly however, do not assume that your friend won't push you in front of her and use you as a human shield when that dog approaches. She will. Believe me she will.


  1. And here we have another eloquently stated peice of advice that shall be reviewed later, when upset dogs come forth.

    1. Dinosaurs sure know a good thing when they see it. Dogs,maybe not so much. I suspect possible complaints in the near future from some very upset dogs.

  2. Someone once gave me advice on how to survive being chased by an alligator: run in zig-zags, go at least 37 mph, and if you can't do that then run faster than the person with you.

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality

    1. Although amazing advice( you know, if you were ever to be chased by an alligator), I fear tremendously for the person who gave you that advice. A part of me feels they may have been in that situation before and or know a few too many people who have.

  3. I love these spontaneous little posts of yours.

    The Life of Little Me

  4. Wouldn't like to get chased by a stray dog!

    Meme xx

    New Post:
    Beneath the Surface by Heidi Perks Book Review

    1. Completely mutual my friend. Completely and utterly mutual.